Why should I care?

Why should I care? Obviously there is something bothering my mind. That something should it bother me at all. People say, let the pass be pass, just move forward. Easy to say than do. Or is it not.
Am I to lazy to take action? Am I just fed up? Am I thinking too much? That one yes. I am always thinking too much. Sometimes I want to stop but I can't. I needed to stop but I can't. What should I do?
I think... yup.. "thinking again" .. I should just not care. Just let it be that way. Why stop it. That's just my advantage. And I love my advantage. Because I am that way, sometimes.. I am ahead of people. Yup... Its a fact. What? I don't care. I can say anything I want about myself because its myself. Mine.
Yes I am jobless, not entirely, I always have a job. I always have something to do. What? If I want to do what I want, what? I don't care anymore what you say. I don't care. Why should I care?
Yup.. whatever I do, if it makes me happy. I should just do it.
Yup.. my writing might not be read at all. So what? Why should I care?
No I don't care anymore.
Maybe just maybe.. I should just do it right? I can think about anything.. But just do it. If its wrong then.. Next time don't do it. Simple. Can I be that way? I should try right?
This woman is mental right? Hahaha.. Yup I am.. I have that.

Why should I care?

Thank you.

Selamat Hari Raya?

Yes it is a late post. But here it goes.. All the moments we captured. Let the picture tells the story...

A very late throwback it is. Next time better blog post? I hope. ☺☺☺

My Happy Life?

Kenapa? Happy ke? Mesti la kan... Tapi kadang2 tu ada naik turunnyer. Kenapa orang tak tulis pasal turun? Kenapa aku tak tulis pasal jatuh aku? Malu? Ego? Mesti la kan. Ada masa aku rasa, "Ini lah masa aku, ini lah dia 'first step to success' aku, tapi tiba2 kau jatuh. Kau kecewa. Kau ingat kau buat apa yang betul. Tapi tak. Kau ingat kau dah buat yang terbaik tapi tak pun. Kau ingat kau yang terbaik tapi tak pun. Adakah aku letak perspektif terlalu tinggi atas diri aku? Mungkin. 

Aku selalu marah. And end up, kekecewaan aku, memakan diri aku. Aku tak ada mood. Malas nak buat apa2. Aku dah tak tau apa yang buat aku happy. Apa yang aku nak buat?

Aku berhenti kerja, kerja yang makan masa hampir 5 tahun sebab aku bengang dengan management. Lepas tu peluang datang, aku 'tolong' dia dalam business dia. Dari start dia nak dapatkan kontrak, aku bawa dia kehulur kehilir malah keluarkan duit aku masa tu sebab aku ingat aku 'tolong' dia. Aku kerja siang malam untuk stabilkan business dia, aku nasihat dia macam2 untuk pastikan dia on track. Tapi aku salah. Dia hanya anggap aku sebagai pekerja yang menyusahkan dia. Dia tak sanggup bayar gaji aku. Walau aku kerja lebih dari kerja gaji RM2k aku. Aku ambik gaji cukup2 untuk bayar monthly bill aku. Just enough. Tak ada dah duit lebih for that extra. Tak ada dah duit untuk fun run, my happy pills. Tapi aku sanggup. Sebab aku fikir, maybe if I help him make the company grow bigger, I will eventually earn more, and maybe when he is stabil enough then I can open another company and collaborate with him. Tapi tak pun, maybe dia ingat aku nak lingkupkan company dia kot. Tapi dia tak pernah nak bersyukur. Ko baru bukak company and your profit for the first, 2nd and 3rd month is already more than RM1k and for the 1st month you already can pay for your debt. What else do you want? For me, a successful business is the one that grow slowly but surely. But the young age in him says no this is not enough. I don't want to waste money on people working for me. It is a waste. I gave him everything I know throughout my life. I gave him knowledge from years just like that, just to know he doesn't acknowledge it.

Why am I writing this? Because for all this years, for all the struggle, for all the tears, blood, I didn't know he would hurt me so much. Yes, bukannya aku tak pernah kena macam ni. Tapi aku tak sangka dia yang buat macam ni. Ya, dia masih tak matang. Tapi at least respect me. A person who help you. 

Then for all that happen to me, the next day, I got a call for a job. Yes I got the job. I was moon over hill. I cried because I was so happy. Tapi hari pertama kat sana. Disaster. So, I didn't come the next day. Just don't want to tell anything more. 

Now, I am sitting here, in front of my laptop, writing again. I am writing again. I need to write my frustration out and I have a lot. 

Seriously a lot. But I don't think I would write everything. Not everything is meant to be read by public. So for that, I am sorry you, but I am really sad for what you did and it is eating myself up. Aku kena tulis semua ni sebab aku dah tak boleh hadam semua ni.

Terima kasih sebab bagi aku peluang dan pengetahuan. 

Lepas tu suami aku kata, cari jer kerja senang2, kerani biasa2, jangan buat kerja yang high responsibility, kerja dekat2. Okay, I will try. Aku dah submit banyak application tapi usaha masih diteruskan, baru 3 minggu? 2 minggu? Ntah. Aku dah biasa kerja, aku jadi risau bila tak ada sumber. Aku harap lepas nie hidup aku lebih teratur.

Aku nak workout macam sebelum nie, participate dalam fun run, then marathon. I need to practice also. Because I have a 10km run this November. Mungkin lepas nie aku patut tulis pasal fun run and all that. Be active again. Fit and hot.. Hahaha....  Mungkin.

Adakah susah untuk tulis pasal yang hitam dari yang putih? Adakah penting apa yang orang fikir pasal kita?

"Don't let people's perspective let you down, you are yourself, you are your world."

The end and the beginning.☺

My Life was a dream

Yes... Itu lah apa yg aku fikir sekarang. Dulu aku tengok tv, orang tu g kerja, pastu g gym. Aku selalu fikir... Wah bestnyer camni leh relax2 g gym. Aku nak jugak. Pastu bila aku start kerja. Mmm.. Macam xde harapan jer kan.. Haha.. Pastu aku kahwin.. Pastu ada 2 orang anak.. Badan dah gelebeh.. Hahaha... Mmm.. aku fikir xpe la exercise sendiri dekat rumah. G gym mesti mahal.

2 bulan aku follow jadual exercise. Follow video... tp.. ape yg jadi peha aku makin besar sampai suar pun dah ketat. Bukan aku makan sampai jadi gemuk. Exercise yang aku buat build up my muscle tapi aku tak wat cardio untuk hilangkan fat berlebihan. Kecewa masa tu sebab aku tak tau. Hahaha...

Ye la bayangkan 2 bulan tu tiap ari exercise bagai nak giler.. Hahaha... Aku tak salahkan instructor Youtube tu. Dia ajar benda betul. Aku yang tak cukup pengetahuan.

Tetapi...... tiba2 satu hari aku terdetik untuk tanya 'Uncle Google' , search for LADIES GYM IN SELANGOR. Aku jumpa CONTOUR EXPRESS SETIA ALAM .. Aku fikir2. Try lah..
Terus call and made appointment dengan trainer. Lepas tu.. Sampai la hari aku pergi.

Dia buat body analysis. Terangkan everything. Excessive Body Fat is 600g. Okay and I know la kat mana. Haha.. BMI ok. Tapi dia cakap BMI does not measure your health, it just measure your shape. Ya betul tu.. Kita selalu pentingkan BMI yg xpenting sangat pun kan.. Water content OK.. Yeay..

Trainer tanya nak reshape which part of body.. Of course lower body. Jadi dia pun cadangkan exercise yang sesuai dengan kehendak kita. Okay jadi start with warm up.. 5 minutes.. Gym nie konsep Circuit Training. Boleh refer kat website camne circuit training tu. Jadi 2 set circuit then few pilates movement then.. streching sebagai penutup.. Wah memang akan berpeluh sangat and after exercise rasa ringan badan.  1 jam abis la exercise tu..

Syok... Lepas exercise ape lagi.. Sesi penerangan membership. Dalam kepala aku, okay mmm...abisla ni mesti mahal nie... Ye la siap ade trainer jaga kita.. Tak kan murah.. Kalau gym lain dah tak tau bape ratus sebulan. Aku pun cam nak tak nak je pandang trainer tu. Haha... Tp still dengar penerangan. Okay then aku terkejut, skit2 naik kepala. hihi... Betul ker nie..?? Murah jer.

Aku apalagi terus ambik 1 year membership. Dah 2 minggu aku start training. Tiap kali aku pergi gym. Balik rasa ringan jer. Rasa happy jer. Rupe2nyer banyak pergerakan exercise aku selama nie salah. Dalam sesi circuit training is more to cardio and strength. Pilates toned. Jadi semua dapat.

Yang paling best ialah sebab gym nie memang untuk perempuan sahaja. Dunia perempuan. Aku yang bertudung nie.. Syok la... Tak payah fikir nak cover dari pandangan lelaki. Suami pun tak kisah Isterinya g gym. Hihi... Gym tu pun lengkap with locker and shower. Ade water to drink.. Dia macam small gym but complete with everything.

Siapa2 nak try g la buat appointment. Bukak website ni CONTOUR EXPRESS yg aku link kn di atas.. Whatsapp or call terus. Berbaloi sangat. Saya recommend tak dapat komisen tau. Saya recommend sebab saya rasa dah ramai women diluar sana mencari gym sebegini.. Hihi.. Jom la.. Kita paksa dia bukak branch banyak2.. Haha gitu..

K bye... I love my life.. I love my gym life.. Go! Go! Healthy body..

T-shirt kanak-kanak murah

Tshirt murah tetapi berkualiti

Sejuk dipakai

Anak-anak boleh bergerak bebas..

Size: 80, 90, 100, 110, 120

Material: 100% cotton

Prize: RM20/helai

Postage: RM6.00sm/RM10.00ss

Boleh borong dengan harga berpatutan. 

Tunggu apa lagi. Beli sebelum stok habis :-)

Apartment kecil kami

Rumah baru ku..

Sudah 8 bulan ku di sini..

Afia and afi at the balcony..

Rumah ni dah jadi milik kami. Seperti yang ku inginkan rumah ni ade balkoni. Syok.. huhu. Area Meru, Klang. Jadi still ade suasana kampung lagi.. Masih ada pokok nan hijau...

3 bilik dan 2 bilik air, cukup untuk kami. Walau dapur kecil sedikit tapi masih ade ruang untuk dibesarkan.

Inilah rumah kami. Moga kami membina keluarga bahagia disini.. Amin...

My Nafiz Afi..

 11.04.2014

                            This is right after delivery. Hot from the oven.

He is 7 months now. He can stand. Crawl n sit.. And scream.. He is totally different than Nurul Afia, my girl.
How different are they? They are.. Don't ask me how.. Haha..

Two months old, what else i wanna do. Tidur la.. hehe..

Okay this is all of us.. with our new car. Haha.. Axia..

From left is my hubby carrying afia, me n afi in the stroller, my sister's friend and my sister.

Picking up the car. 2 months ago. Oct 2014. Afi is 6 months old.

This is at our local beach. Pantai Remis la.. Sape tak tau Pantai Remis kan.. Huhu..

Afia, me and afi covered by cloth.

How cute they are.. My gegirl and boboy..

 Drinking milk. Jangan bimbang.. (macam dalam iklan tu) huhu..

As Afia selalu cakap..

They are both given to me by Allah. Hope I can take care of them both with love. Not forgetting my lovely hubby. Just celebrate our 3rd anniversary last month 11.11.2014..  I love you. Hope our family will have ever lasting love. Happily ever after..

See you..